We can fear losing our health, relationships or job, making critical decisions, or being rejected, laughed at or betrayed and often sitting under that fear is rumination.
One pearl of wisdom is “feel the fear and do it anyway”, although this by itself doesn’t really help. For some people, it could make them feel worse.
My experiences as a coach and mentor are that it is better to manage your fear so it no longer debilitates you and here’s how we would suggest you go about it.
I call it a fear check and it’s something I do when I’m thinking of a big business or personal decision.
Step 1 - Map your fears with the PAM skill.
Take some time to work out:
- What could possibly go wrong?
- What assumptions am I making
- How can I mitigate those risks?
Step 2 - Consider the benefits of partial success.
The two critical questions here are specific:
- What benefits would arise even with partial success?
- What would they be in three months, six months and a year?
Often we look for the complete picture. The perfect picture and so we miss the more minor cumulative benefits.
Step 3 - What would doing nothing cost me?
Doing nothing can often cost more than doing something. Without thinking it through, you will never know.
Once you’ve completed all three steps, take a step back and weigh up the obstacles versus the opportunity.
Taking risks can help you build your resiliency muscles and the way to manage your fear is to move from rumination to intentional thinking through to action. Take some time to work through the steps above and I guarantee you’ll gain more clarity, confidence and commitment.
I’d love to hear if you’ve tried this and the impact it’s had.
Listen, Watch, Learn
We can fear losing our relationships. In this episode from our podcast, have a listen to David talking to a relationship coach. Discover behind-the-scenes insights and valuable hints and tips that you would only normally get in a paid-for session!
Mark Philpott is a 58 year old full-time ultra-distance athlete who is about to run 1,000 miles throughout the United Kingdom to support mental health in Rugby. Watch him explain how he improved his mental healthwith our resilience approach.
What do we all have in common, regardless of our gender, circumstances and position in life? We all want more confidence to move forward and find solutions. In the blog post, Emma from our team explores one of our biggest barriers to confidence.
💭 Finally, a quote to get you thinking:
Until next time,
Your friends at Resilience Development Co.